“Offerings to the inner fire, fuel for the alchemical processes; divinely pressured I begin to shine as the diamond jewel of freedom, the purified gold of ascent.”
It happened for the first time… that I ever remember.
I asked myself what to focus on this evening, and thought of a couple of options…
And I asked myself: what (activity) will most further my ascent?
Wow. What? I’m used to roiling about in the contortions of alleviating pain. But not at the source. In ways that create more.
Slipping the bonds of “instead of,” I translated my vision of having what I desire most into the moment, into a simple and practical choice, a possibility.
This is a profound change. All of the incredible pain (transformation) of the last few weeks is bearing fruit.
I can discard the shame of compensating for my inability to live what I want.
Offerings to the inner fire, fuel for the alchemical processes; divinely pressured I begin to shine as the diamond jewel of freedom, the purified gold of ascent.
Death and fire, release and transformation.
The next morning:
Again, without thinking about it, when deciding what to focus on this morning, I asked myself what would most support my ascent. I was excited about opportunity. Here. Now. My choice. Real.
This is completely different. I am used to slumming online for hours on a major cola buzz, balancing my checkbook, surfing time sink options in email and on social media, reading random articles about the dressing habits of ancient civilizations. Every morning.
That was fine. Not inherently bad. Unless I want to accomplish something.
Unless I want to feel connected to source.
Twilight in the Underworld 
“Slipping the bonds of “instead of,” I translated my vision of having what I desire most into the moment, into a simple and practical choice, a possibility.” That a beautiful excerpt. The efforts you make to change are very inspiring. The process you describe in your writings is very deep, intense, and sincere. It takes a lot of courage to seek a full consciousness of thyself. It’s so easy to fall asleep in the world we live in.
But you’re not afraid, you’re fighting doubts. You think, you feel, you keep your eyes open and you act accordingly. And you do it because you give yourself a chance to do it. You’re really talented. It’s always a pleasure to read you.
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