—Cover art by Fosco Culto—
If you are a Christian reading my blog, your Christian mind control is about to kick in big time. You will experience the thrill of witnessing the eternal damnation of a soul! What could be more exciting?
You will think that I actually am “slipping towards damnation,” “giving up control to evil,” “risking my soul.” And you will interpret my surprise that old religious conditioning still had such a strong hold on me as my unfortunate ignorance of the real and imminent danger that I face.
Enjoy the ride, I have given you a lot to work with here. Just know that, as I have also mentioned in what follows, I did not move through this process without great introspection.
I proceeded with caution. I encountered things that I had been taught were evil. I found that they are not.
I have not given up anything, not my freedom, not my soul.
I know that you will feel quite differently about it, and that is your choice. I know this is difficult for Christians, who feel compelled to push their beliefs on others, but I don’t need your opinions, your help, or your religion.
CHRISTIAN TOURISTS: Christians are not welcome here. Please leave and take your false god with you. Thank you.
Agios Tzaphoni Ama Lilith Layilil (x6) Ave Lilu Lilitu. Io Lilith. Domina Noctis Ama Lilith Layil Rimog Lilith Lilit Malkah ha'Shadim Renich Viasa Avage Lilith Lirach Agios O Lilith Regina Gamaliel! Layilit-Amashtuti-Lil-I-Theli! Ahi Hay Lilith!
I call upon Lilith, the Storm-Goddess of the Black Moon who manifests as Temptress and Destroyer and Vampyre against the worm called Yahweh. I shall become as a blight unto the insufferable mongrels indentured to Jehovah. I spurn the intrusion of the false god who in desperation strives for acceptance from the masses. I rebuke the messianic pretender Jesus. Death to the emissaries of his embarrassment. They are like unto a blight upon the children of Cain. Alash Tad Al-Ash Tal Ashtu Natz Fahr Atu Infernum Negra
Whoever came up with Jesus was just goofing around, or something. Okay, they were serious, you say.
I know this sounds far-fetched. But there is actually some evidence to question whether the Jesus of the New Testament was a real person. Whether many of the events of the New Testament actually happened. I’m talking scholarly examination of when and by whom the books of the New Testament were written, and the details that were not and could not be true. It’s something to think about, to look into if you’re interested.
Jesus never did anything for me. And I was devout for several years in my teens. I had spiritual experiences, very strong energetic flashes and possessions. I knew they weren’t him. But I still thought they were about him.
I wanted to be with him, to experience him. I felt this lack keenly. I remember wanting so much to feel that Jesus was real and present in my life, instead of something that I loved so deeply and longed for even deeper.
I gave up being Mormon as a teen, and then gave up being a born-again Christian in my early twenties. I dabbled in Wicca, keeping some parts of it for the years since. I’ve always been very sensitive to energy. I created my first altars, learned to read my first tarot deck.
Even though I rejected Christianity, I felt a strong connection to my Mormon culture. I still had a painting of the Salt Lake City Temple in my apartment, an exquisite and monumental achievement that took 40 years to build. Just a few generations back, my relations were polygamists, strange. There was the generation that had converted in England, and travelled half way around the world to settle in Utah. They had endured prosecution. They were a special sort of people, hard working, of deep faith and conviction.
They sing moving songs (Come, Come Ye Saints). They eat unique foods (delicious jello recipes).
Now everything is different for me. UNDERSTATEMENT. I no longer feel connected to my Christian roots. I donated my remaining Christian art to a thrift store.
I have come to feel that Christianity is a sham. It was always empty for me, even when I was as devout as you can be, with many pictures of Jesus on my wall, and constant scriptural study and prayer. In a brief return to Mormonism in midlife, I became temple worthy and received my temple endowment. Along the way, as I tried various other versions of Christianity besides Mormonism, it was always the same. All devotion and longing. I knew God was somewhere. Just not here.
As a devotee of Lucifer, Set, Azazel, and other ancient Gods and Goddesses, they have become an active part of my life, every day, multiple times per day. They help me, teach me. Lucifer the initiator buoyed me up many times when I first found this path, helping me to find my way. He showed me profound things. He showed me the Dragon in the black void below us. The source of all creation, it uncoiled slightly, revealing itself to me. Lucifer in astral travel showed me the endless portals to other worlds visible from his throne amongst the stars.
Now Set and Azazel are my main teachers and allies in my ascent.
Sometimes I feel entities. They touch me with their bliss, or they fill me with their state, transforming me, furthering my divinity with their own. They sometimes reveal themselves to me, as Sigils, as various masks of themselves, sometimes giving me images of other things. They are always teaching me things.
The Right Hand Path holds nothing for me. And Christianity is worse than nothing. It is a boondoggle. Along with Islam, Judaism, and the other sham, egregore religions which have systematically and savagely crushed and coopted, assimilated and replaced the existing pantheons of the real entities, the age old gods of our multiverse. It is all a form of religious mind control that serves the needs of greed and power, a part of the wider societal mind control that enslaves those with the ability to generate resources, funneling them into a dogged pursuit of a fading dream, resolutely working and consuming until they die.
Whether the bible is false or true, is of no consequence in comparison with the mental freedom of the race. Salvation through slavery is worthless. Salvation from slavery is inestimable. As long as man believes the bible to be infallible, that book is his master. The civilization of this century is not the child of faith, but of unbelief—the result of free thought. — Robert Green Ingersoll
I discovered magic when I discovered the remnants of religious mind control in my psyche. As a writer, a nebulous story has been percolating in my mind ever since I read the Lord of the Rings as a teen. I finally sat down to write it. It was about evil and love, and I set about writing it as dark as I could, to capture the dark feelings that confused me while reading the book.
As I wrote, I ran into barriers in myself that I didn’t know were there. I was reaching to touch things that had been forbidden. There were messages there, sign posts. This is dangerous. Go no further. I was afraid I was slipping towards damnation, that I was giving up control to evil. Not only was I surprised to find these barriers in my psyche, I was surprised at how reluctant I was to push past them.
I had to make a conscious decision to continue past the barriers. It felt like I was risking my soul by pushing past these places in myself. I was writing about things that went beyond my latent conditioning as a Christian and a Mormon.
What is much more important is that having found these places in my own mind, I asked myself: What is this? Why did I not know it was here? After all these years?
THEN. As I explored through my characters and my story, I came to a place of utter darkness in myself. I gave this place a name.
I went online. I searched for confronting the void within. I searched for Christian mind control. I found the Left Hand Path. I found the Temple of Ascending Flame.
I found MAGICK. This all happened in May of this year. Now it is October and I am a Priestess Initiate in the Temple of Ascending Flame.
I now understand myself, this lifelong feeling that I somehow have the power to gather and direct energy, to affect myself and my surroundings with it. The conviction that magic is real, that I am starving when I live without it.
I have found what I have wished for all my life. I now have a God, I have Gods that are real, that interact with me, and are a part of my daily life. A hole in my soul has been filled. I have become extraordinarily wise about my soul’s ascent and the nature of the multiverse in very short period of time. I am also keenly aware of the vast amount of knowledge that is close at hand, and which I have yet to touch or assimilate. It is quite overwhelming, and I spin about, tasting many things without fully imbibing them. I am still getting the lay of the land.
I remember the first time someone shared the opinion that Christianity is a sham, and the gods that Christians condemn as evil are actually the forces of good. It was an idea so radical that I was stunned. To say it went against all of my latent religious conditioning was a vast understatement.
And yet, it was the beginning of a little light shining into my world, opening up as a world of truth, a cosmology based upon reality, upon freedom.
It is my conviction based upon profound personal experience that Lucifer in particular is an immensely loving and kind being. And he is keenly interested in every single person’s ascent. He is right there for every person who finds and begins the path of truth, of real ascent.
The Christians of the King James era (1600s), when translating the Old Testament from the Latin Vulgate of St. Jerome, coopted Lucifer by leaving the Latin word “Lucifer” (the Latin name for the morning star) in the otherwise completely English translation, making him the bad guy, conflating him with Satan, who also got a bad rap.
Bad Christians. Bad.
Now they think I’m bad. They hate what I love. They would force their religion on my civic and private life if they could. They panic and use me and my kind as their scapegoat, seeking to destroy others, ruining people’s lives.
They think Satanists are after their children. And yet, hundreds of thousands of their children have been horribly maimed by sexual abuse at the hands of priests. Look to your own Christians. We don’t hurt your children. You do.
Christians are getting out of control. They’ve confused the fact that the founders of our nation were Christians with their intentions as outlined in the Constitution. If Christians actually read the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, they would find that those who created our democracy were extremely careful from start to finish to keep church and state separate, and to keep the majority from inflicting themselves on the minority.
After all, some of our nation’s first European settlers were the Puritans, and other groups who were escaping religious persecution.
Not again. This time there’s nowhere left to go.
Listen up Christians. You have to choose. Freedom of religion (separation of church and state), or Christian majority rule. You cannot have both.