I rule the ride

"I remember the day I stood in the bewildering chaos and destruction portal known as Walmart, looking around at a massive jumble of things that were all destined for the sewer, the graveyard, or the landfill."

I woke up this morning thinking: “I am always trying to figure out what to do with energy.”

I enjoyed some profound moments of viewing negative thoughts and feelings as energy. Energy I can transfer and transform.

THIS IS NEXT LEVEL.

Keep hands and feet inside the ride until we arrive at the next safe…. oh fuck that shit.

I RULE THE RIDE.

Be in the now. Immediately challenge negativity.

These go together.

This negativity I am focusing on is the result of obsessing about (not accepting) the past, and obsessing about (somehow controlling) the future.

Is this the very definition of uselessness, of waste, of delusion?

It has been years now that I have been challenging negative thoughts and feelings in myself, annexing their accustomed real estate, withdrawing their usual supply of oxygen.

Recently I had a moment where I realized that I have a great deal of negativity left in my personality and psyche. I felt a profound shift. I recognized within myself a personal level of power that I can now leverage to finally be done with negativity.

I am DONE WITH NEGATIVITY. Done. It’s days are numbered. Hours, even.

I have begun to immediately notice, name, and challenge negativity. The very moment I feel it arise within my consciousness, as discomfort in my emotions.

FEAR. ANXIETY. EGO.

Saying the word, naming the noxious feeling the moment it appears is very powerful. I am learning as a magician to have control over my mind and emotions.

Catastrophic thinking. Worrying about things.

THINGS. POSSESSIONS.

Attaching myself to things, attaching things to myself, is a mundane world trap. It is painful. And I don’t do pain anymore, unless I am burning it as fuel for my ascent.

I recently pared down many of my possessions. They went out the door to be sold, donated, trashed.

“All things go away, sooner or later, one way or another.”

This is what I repeat to myself, this is my mantra whenever I worry about possessions… ones I have lost, ones I could have sold instead of giving away, ones I sold for “too little,” ones I broke or bought the wrong version of…. it just goes on and on.

All things go away, sooner or later, one way or another.

I remember the day I stood in the bewildering chaos and destruction portal known as Walmart, looking around at a massive jumble of things that were all destined for the sewer, the graveyard, or the landfill.

Attachment to possessions creates pain. Attachment to people, other animals, places, events, objects.

Attachment creates pain.

Okay this is not some new revelation. But I do have an entirely new perspective as I now reside in a multiverse, in which the mundane world is just one level of MANY.

CAREFUL… this is not some “positive thinking” technique moment (Right Hand Path sun-shiney garbage BLECH). It’s a moment of self-empowerment, of taking control of myself.

SELF MASTERY IS ESSENTIAL TO THE PRACTICE OF MAGIC. How can you master anything else if you haven’t mastered yourself? I am so glad of my many years of advanced consciousness, energy, and meditation work and experience. I know how to sit still. I know how to quiet and control my mind. I know how to envision, gather, control, and direct energy.

Now I am becoming laser focused on all within myself, all in the mundane reality which remains in the way of my ascent.

If someone would have asked me a few weeks ago if I had a problem with negativity, I would have paused, wondering.

Now I see it clearly.

The answer is: “Not for long.” I am determined to end this scourge. I can stop it. And the stopping begins NOW.

Twilight in the Underworld