Art by William Morris “Cache” .
I am not on the road to somewhere else, to anywhere at all.
I am there. I am here.
What is happening is about now. Not about where I’m wanting, hoping, trying to get to.
When an entity fills me with divine, subtly dissolving energy, that is about this moment.
I cannot overstate how much of a shift this is for me.
My whole life since I was a girl was about getting somewhere I wasn’t, being something I wasn’t. And basically what and where I wanted to be was MAGIC. Magical. My body full of energy.
I had deeply profound experiences like this at times, but they always dwindled. There were long periods in between. I began to dry out. There were holes in my soul, and an unwelcome wind blew right through me, rippling me slightly, a spasm of pain.
I longed for magic, but even that would not be enough. I longed for MAGIC THAT WOULD NOT DWINDLE.
MAGIC THAT WOULD NOT DWINDLE.
At last. This I have found.
At last, my dream has come true.
I can be filled with the subtle current of magic, the soulful dip into the Death Current, whenever I choose to, for as long as I want.
I remember being so alone as a child, wandering around in a dark and solitary world, wishing I could be like the other children at my school.
I was not meant to be that person. I was not meant to be like others. I was meant to be one thing, only one: me.
I chant the mantra: Santa Muerte, Holy Death,
What is the Current of Death? Why is there something called the Current of Death? Why would anyone want to focus on death? Isn’t that silly?
Read up, dear reader. Working with the Death Current is often labeled as Necromancy. But I do not summon the dead.
Suffice it to say that death is a current in the wider flow of this multiverse. It is a primal current. It touches, informs and pulls from all other currents.
When I feel this energy flowing through me, it evokes certain scenes and feelings.
A place of decay, of putrefication, of utterly complete transformation. I can surrender to this place, claim it. Death does not turn anyone away. No one can really turn away from death.
I remember visions I have had of experiences of this death energy, extreme tamas.
I had a vision once of falling into a ditch, surrounded by weeds, like another world that was utterly dark, with no connection to the wider world of the living.
I have had two dreams I remember vividly that were about an extreme power of evil and death. One when I descended to the underworld that was somehow below, in the basement floor beneath a building. It was so terrifying I could hardly breathe. I was surrounded by a silent, hissing menace. Beings there were pure malice, and would destroy me if they encountered me.
I saw it then, a creature of pure evil like a fat snake in a dark pit in the floor under a stairwell, curled around itself in black filth, moving against itself as it consumed what it was, itself. There are stories that are metaphors for this eating of oneself. Like the little match girl who lights her matches for a moment of warmth. Like those in severe cold who tear wood off of their house to burn for warmth. This is a concentrated form of evil. Evil pushing against evil, consuming evil, become more evil still.
I dreamed more than once about that place where I knew I could sail lightly off of the edge of the room, landing lightly on the floor below, only discovering in mid-air that there were crocodiles in black muck below me, where I would land. (I am terrified of crocodiles). They thrashed about, trying to position themselves to get to me where I would land. Somehow I escaped them. Next to their pit, there was a large machine of square buttons, kind of like a huge control panel with buttons like those on slot machines. I pushed some of the huge square buttons, leaning into the work, but I did not know what they did.
Then I was walking away, and I could see a bit of light ahead of me.
There are places like these. I need not fear them. They need not drain me, or break me down as I open to the level of transformation that goes with the process called death.
I draw from places that are a certain world, an immense power and flow that moves through me, through my subtle body and my consciousness.
The magic that doesn’t dwindle in me is this current of primordial energy. It is an energy that is universal. There is no one that does not have it, though most have many layers of unconsciousness and a door tightly shut against it.
DEATH. The confrontation of death. What happens if you wake up and accept this confrontation?
It wasn’t a horrid accident those many years ago that the other children sensed my strange depths and ostracized me, attacking me.
I was meant to be that way. It was who I was.
It is who I am.
Why are sorcerers and necromancers fascinated by skulls, using them in their magic?
Because looking at a human skull is to make death real in that moment, and that energy adds a next level flow of what is real to their consciousness, and to their magical work.
Working with the Death Current takes that jarring moment of confronting death as the empty black holes and crooked teeth of a skull, and embraces the elements of that moment. It is a current of massive intensity, of unassailable reality.
I open to this current and I am filled. I am filled!
I am filled with magic that doesn’t dwindle.
And I know at last who I am, who and what I am meant to be. I am utterly alone in it. It is magnificent!
It is something that most people have never conceived of.
And it is REAL. As real as death itself.