I am a black magician, a sorceress, a mage. And yet…
I need not go to my altar. I need not perform any ritual besides that of looking within, and giving life and energy to that which is fueling my ascent.
I am finding that my ascent is also a descent. I am born to work with death energy.
More than anything else that is happening to or within me…
I am trying to evolve.
I am evolving.
What do I have to do to evolve? What do I need to do?
It seems that all I might do is to be willing, and to stay awake. But I think it is happening either way. Perhaps I could stop it if I chose to. But stopping my ascent, even temporarily? Not going to happen.
I may be fragmented, ambivalent. I may struggle, be at odds with myself. But I am doing the work I am born to do. EVOLVE. I have joined my cohort of all the others in this mundane reality who are also evolving. I see through their eyes what I could not see before.
We look around us, near and far, and see that almost everyone is asleep.
I feel so different than I did a few days ago. I am far less attached to that which consumed my attention so recently.
Other things are changing. My sense of taste and smell have changed a lot. This has never happened before. Milk, peanut butter, ice cream, coke all taste very different.
There is at least one entity who has joined me in my apartment. They bang about sometimes to get me to focus on them. I become alert, listening, and I feel their energy surging through me.
I think it is the incubus, trolling for a treat. Nibdul is his name. His call is “Nae ab dulu ankh ha” (tell him Wyatt recommended him). He keeps tickling me… enticing me into the bedroom with him.
Oh, all right. You win.