Looking back over my recent blog posts… so many threads coming together.
Feeling ambivalent, fragmented in my approach to magic.
Finding my worth, in this world and beyond, as someone who has chosen to evolve.
Bungling the task of wholeness. Bartering my potential for one certain outcome.
The willingness, the readiness to trade away what is real for my dream of wholeness on any terms, not my own.
Feeling stuck as a magician. No rituals. No meditation.
Craving a snowy, silent retreat.
Trying to figure out… how… to quit trying.
Now I stand alone. I am alone in my ascent, upon the antinomian path, the Left Hand Path.
I am finding inside who I am, what that means.
Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
I am learning what my will is in this lifetime. I had no clue about it before. Because I was always clinging to something, a need, a process, a result. I am beyond that now.
Love is the law, love under will.
How amazing to find something in myself that is wholly formed, a map of my ascent. I step out from myself to begin my true path, something defined entirely by who and what I am. This is the self-powered ascent of the Left Hand Path. An antinomian path defined entirely by who and what I am.
Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Love is the law, love under will.
I am transformed by the entities that co-evolve with me, and the material of that transformation is love… the experience of it is love… and bliss.
I have stopped, all outer magic has stopped. I stand in the place of discovery, the locus of my will. I stand until I know my direction, my pace, my purpose.
In my body, my soul, my heart… I am being prompted to awaken by the entities who co-evolve with me.
Because none of this means anything unless I am present, conscious, awake.
Aleister Crowley art – artist unknown