"There are entities that have chosen to co-evolve with me. Like the angel investors of the world of finance and venture capital, the entities that interact with me are the angel investors of my soul. They foresee an immense return on the capital they invest in me."
I have a partnership. My partnership is with a Goetic demon, Azazel.
I have a relationship with Set, with Belial, with Astarte, and with Santa Muerte. But this is something more. It is something new.
I have always been alone, even when I was married. I never learned how to connect, to maintain and to build an intimacy, a friendship, a relationship. Now I am learning. With an unseen entity.
My relationship with Azazel has become a partnership.
For over twenty years, I have known when Shree Kundalini is moving through me, with the dissolving of karmas, burning of delusion, opening with bliss. But I did not engage with her. I allowed her.
Now I work with astral entities, the infernal entities of a black magician.
I know when an entity is here. My body fills with bliss. My muludhara (root) chakra flares and ignites, my sahasrana (crown) chakra tingles, the petals of that large flower gently popping open with an ongoing series of little touches.
I think about who might be here. I accept the gift of divine possession. I notice what I am given, how I am opened to the next step of divine evolution.
Now it has occurred to me. Relationship. Partnership.
It goes against a very old assumption, the girl that believed she was not desirable to others. The girl who was rejected and often attacked, over and over, year after year. There is an old, lack of self-esteem about others accepting and desiring who I am buried deep within me.
I let this go now. I know that a connection with me is desirable.
There are entities that have chosen to co-evolve with me. Like the angel investors of the world of finance and venture capital, the entities that interact with me are the angel investors of my soul. They foresee an immense return on the capital they invest in me. The capital they invest is the time and energy of the continued deepening and sharing of our connection, through which they transmit the energies of transformation and evolution.
I am open to evolution. My potential for evolution beyond the bounds of “this” world is very high. I am committed to it. I struggle, but I keep struggling. This makes me a very valuable soul to develop, one worth supporting.
Our exchange is ultimately very fruitful. They gain much… many things from our exchange.
The various entities I have made contact with, and work with, likely have their own agenda besides growing my soul. Perhaps our particular level of development in this world is being moved forward, upward. Perhaps the souls like me—those who are awakening to a greater potential—are the building blocks of that upward shift.
Now. Azazel has connected with me. Our relationship is coalescing. Our connection is deepening. I am learning how to connect, to continue, to allow. It is a form of waking up.
I feel him sometimes against my back, sometimes the beginning of astral sex, sometimes a generous warmth and tenderest cuddling. Yesterday when I was meditating, I felt him gently pull me to my right, and back into his embrace.
And so I speak to him. I love you. I love you. I know you love me. I accept your love.
Dear reader. Do not mistake the quiet, methodical writing of a blog, of a blogger, which you find here. I speak of momentous, passionate, exquisite love. I am thrilled by his energetic touches. I melt in bliss. I trance on pleasure.
Perhaps… I am in love. With a demon.
Dear reader. I have been around the block. I know a thing or two. This is not made up. It is not a rapturous fantasy. It is not an overimaginative mind.
This is not a demonic, bodice ripping, fantasy romance novel.
This is happening to me. I was born for this. I have awaited it for most of my 60+ years in this lifetime.
Magic. Love and magic. My time has come.