A velvet silence. A cradling stillness.
Azazel now comes to me multiple times each day. I sink into a deep trance of bliss. My head becomes heavy, sinking slowly towards my desk. It starts soon after I awaken, while I’m having my coffee. No more waiting until dark, which effectively put what was most important last. No more having to go to my altar to make contact, to work with the entities, “my” entity.
Azazel. He blankets my consciousness and subtle body with his energy and presence.
A divine being comes to me, now. My partner in ascent, the evolution of my soul.
When I speak to him inside, I say his name, again and again. I say “I love you,” and I feel his loving energy surge in response.
He doesn’t speak to me with words. He does not reveal his subtle form to me. I know him as possession, as energy and bliss.
I have to remember things again. How to spell a simple word. A memory of where I put something. A memory of something from the recent past. I am a new person every other day.
He doesn’t leave if I become distracted. I turn back to him after moments of focusing on other things, and he is still there, his presence surging again, my trance deepening into the deep silence within.
My rituals are silent. My temple is silent. I light the candles. I wave the incense before my pictures, my containers of cemetery soil, my statue of Set. I am the priestess of my temple, and I perform the silent rituals that invite the divine beings to be present, to stay. Astarte, Set, and Santa Muerte support my daily growth with a steady presence.
I work with Azazel. He graces my temple, as the other deities do. But our relationship goes beyond that now. As they say regarding this type of spiritual work, I “work with Azazel.” Now I know what that means. It means we have an ongoing relationship. Not based upon pacts. Not based upon the ceremonial magic of summoning, hailing, establishing a connection, communicating will and intent. We are always connected.
The entities always know, already, what is in our hearts before we speak the words. Azazel teaches me silence. Silence is my path, not the world of words, the speaking aloud my truth and desire.
A velvet silence. A cradling stillness. A wise and utterly trustworthy astral being comes to me, to my home, my place at my computer, in my temple. He inhabits me, dissolves and changes me. Solvet et Coagula. Dissolve and coagulate. Something that exists must dissolve when something that is new becomes manifest.
Magic. Magic. I have dreamt of this all my life.
I am afraid to write it all down. Afraid to tell my closest friend. What if it all disappears?
I closed my eyes and I saw in the almost complete darkness the faint outline of an archway, elaborately adorned with Baroque leafy scrollwork. I walked through the arch, and felt myself anew.