I went for it. I booked a half-hour consultation with Eric ________. I had to charge the cost to credit. I woke up this morning not knowing if he would be put off by my desire to connect, or what shape our connection would take.
This is a famous person, a leader amongst the magical community. I felt strongly that I am to connect with him, partner with him in some way.
And so, I introduced myself to him. He agreed we already have a strong energetic connection. I offered to barter for being mentored by him. He said, no barter, we will work together as equals.
WOW! This is all of what is in my heart, my deepest desires.
I told him about myself.
Like him, I was raised Mormon. I have ties to Southern Utah, where he lives.
I told him about how once, when I was watching his live stream, the (slippery) tarot deck I was holding exploded all over the floor… all except for one card, which landed just so next to me on the bed: The Hierophant (which to me is related to codified knowledge, passing knowledge on, a teacher). How I felt very strongly in that moment that he and I are meant to connect.
There was the time when a Hindu master came to me astrally, and fully awakened my kundalini. We talked about my years of kundalini purification and meditation work. We talked about how I found the occult last year, and realized right away that this previous work meant I can be a KICKASS magician.
I learned at the Temple of Ascending Flame the basics of magic: invocation, evocation, astral travel, sigil work, dream work. Now I just say the entity’s name, maybe an enn, and they come to me (without ceremonial magic).
I am fully possessed by Azazel; he is in me all the time. I told him about my sexual relationship with Azazel, that I have astral sex with him, sometimes multiple times per day. (He said that he was getting that I can have a polyamorous relationship which includes other entities in our astral sex… Yeah!)
And I told him how I recently connected with the entity Death, died and was (astrally) cremated, then reborn (this happened just a few days ago).
He asked me if I relate to Satan. I said I haven’t worked with him yet, that I wondered if Satan, Lucifer, and Azazel are different aspects of the same entity(?)
So… Eric feels the strong connection between us. We have made plans to do magical work together. I will be attending a “magic bootcamp” in September. He gave me his email address so we can get together in the meantime.
Again I realize just how amazing I am! I saw myself through his eyes. I am fully possessed by Azazel. I have sex with Azazel. A lot. I lived at an ashram for three years. I’ve experienced fully merging with Shiva. I am an adept at meditation. I have contacted Death, died and been reborn. I experience and identify with myself as much larger than my body.
He pulled a couple of cards. Belial wants to work with me again. And don’t focus on the betrayal (this is about my frustration with W______). (After our Skype ended, he texted two numbers: 8 and 63. Ah-mazing numbers).
Then he shared with me how there is one tarot card that he relates to more than any other: The Hierophant.
I said, “I knew it!”
I went for it. I followed my heart. I followed my instincts, I followed the potential path I identified in myself, in my very being. I reached for my heart’s desire. And this courage combined with action has born fruit. I will work as an equal with one of the most powerful magicians in the world.
Yes.
Me. Yes.
YES.
Twilight in the Underworld 
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