A note to Christian tourists: I have given you a lot to work with here. Imagine: I offered my soul to Satan! This is such a thrilling thing for you to read about. How exciting it is for you to muck about in your misunderstanding of my world. All Christians do. All those from Abrahamic religions do. Meanwhile, your god enslaves you. Your god thinks appointing someone with the evil task of tempting you to a fall is good. But Satan as the liberator tempts you to throw off the chains of self-condemnation and imprisonment. Satan as the adversary represents unbound human potential and freedom. Your god is a sham. He does not love you. He has forsaken you. He does not save you. He condemns you.
“LUCIFER: They say what they must sing and say on pain
Of being that which I am and thou art–
Of spirits and of men.
CAIN: And what is that?
LUCIFER: Souls who dare use their immortality,
Souls who dare look the omnipotent tyrant in
His everlasting face and tell him that
His evil is not good!”
― Lord Byron, Cain a Mystery
I have taken a stand. No more doubt. I have offered myself to the alchemy of the destruction of doubt, and the fire to burn it is fierce, so fierce.
How long with this last? I asked over and over in the long moments of intense discomfort. Let the fires of freedom burn bright, burn quickly. I rarely ever ask for a break, and I never ask for the work to be less intense. Let’s burn this house of doubt and fear down… and leave this painful work behind for good!
I pictured Azazel smiling as I made jokes about my predicament, standing in the fire of freedom.
Afterwards I have felt a new level of possession and bliss. A new level of POWER. Of the ability to push through my fear and doubt.
I am a sorceress, a mage. I am powerful. I will hide in smallness no longer.
E_____ mentioned Satan in our consultation. I found within my resistance to the idea of connecting with Satan. I also found within the desire to connect with him, to find out what lay beyond my Christian and societal mind control.
Cue the inner beast! My embedded Christian mind control becomes a lurching beast with a meaningless growl.
I do not entertain challenges to my intention. Once an intention is set, there will be no falling back. Not following through on intention causes a log jam in manifestation from intention. Time to get to work.
I have become aware that discomfort from societal and Christian mind control, and from Western culture’s squeamishness about death, represent energies and freedoms waiting to be (re)claimed. It is for this exact reason that I recently (legally) purchased some human bone powder for my altar. Queasiness about doing this was the mighty clue to follow this fear into new energies.
And so. I have worked with Sathanas for the first time. I created the sigil recently channeled by Behemoth-X, and offered drops of my life source in the form of my blood. I repeated his enn, and spoke my desires.
Great and ancient Lord Satan. Powerful Lord. Come to my temple. I invite you to my temple. I offer myself to you, to enter me, to possess me. I offer my soul to you. I offer my soul to Satan. I desire to work with you, for you to be involved with my ascent. Satan, will you support my ascent? Great and ancient Lord. Come to me. Support my ascent.
He appeared (astrally) in flames, standing in the place of my altar. I went into a very deep trance as he possessed me. He pushed on my head, causing me to bow to him. I wished to bow, and he accepted my fealty. There was a very powerful transfer of certain energies. After about a minute, he released my head and I sat back up.
I felt his slight touch on the left side of my head, above and near my temple; the temple of the human eye. He has touched my sight. What now will I see?
Then in my astral self I was standing. I saw my view changing as I stepped out of my physical body.*
I experienced moving about a little with my astral body, standing in my temple. I stepped into the flames with Lord Sathanas, entering his form (I read about reverse possession recently in E.A. Koetting’s Azazel Gatekeepers book). Then I fell back into the very deep trance. The surge of pressured energy was intense. I felt the so familiar prickling sensations on the petals of my sahasrara (on the crown of my head).
*(This is the first time I have experienced astral “travel” in proximity to my body. I have experienced a lot of astral travel such as flying through the universe, looking where Lucifer revealed to me the many portals to other universes, entering a star’s interior, etc.)
Today I am filled with pressured energy, which I experience as bliss.
Finally I have moved past much of what I have had to unlearn to do magic. It has taken one calendar year. Now the deeper connections are being made. Now the real lessons from and transformations by those who support me has begun in ernest. I am breaking totally new ground.
Keep going. It is my intention. This will happen.
I will not slide back into the log jam of surrendered intention. Never. Never again.
I tempt none, Save with the truth: was not the Tree, the Tree Of Knowledge? and was not the Tree of Life Still fruitful? Did I bid her pluck them not? Did I plant things prohibited within The reach of beings innocent, and curious By their own innocence? I would have made ye Gods; and even He who thrust ye forth, so thrust ye Because "ye should not eat the fruits of life, "And become gods as we." Were those his words? —From Cain by Lord Byron