I feel new. A surge of immense power. Everything has shifted. The shift that happens as a singularity in a moment of time.
The shift, Eric said. The shift is the breadcrumb that goes all the way down.
There was a moment. The moment when the divine presence of the entities changed from the experience of the power of possession—the internal presence of the entities who fill me with their presence, which I experience as bliss—to the potential ability to wield the power of possession.
They give me this power to use. I can shape and wield divine power.
The human animal, bound by the same physical laws that cause flowers to bloom and eventually wilt, is not capable of manifesting the impossible. He cannot summon the most ancient spiritual beings to physical manifestation, he cannot communicate with those things which should not be, and he cannot call the universe to move in his behalf. Those are the acts of God. In order to perform the acts of God, therefore, man must become God. Once again looking to the various systems which have branched off from what is commonly referred to as Hermetic evocation, or more accurately, those teachings of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, as they are those that most permeate the modern occult school, most of the actual ritual of evocation is a means to this end of omnipotence, termed quite religiously as "Divine Love." This state is referred to so often as such because of the rise of emotions resulting from the influx of such an unimaginable amount of raw, usable power. The brain cannot interpret it, the mind cannot perceive it, and the body cannot contain it. Tears form at its majesty and the human that is quickly dying within the ritual is humbled by the presence of the God that is being born. Without this "Divine love," or as is perhaps more appropriate to the Evocator desiring power for himself (as all who seek this Magick indeed do), without Divine omnipotence, no Magick can be done. —E. A. Koetting 'Invoking Eternity, Forbidden Rites of Evocation' (2009), emphasis mine
1 July (journal entry) THIS IS MAJOR. All this power that is surging through me, the possession of these powerful beings that fill me with all of this power... I can shape it. It isn't just an experience, or even simply a moment of intense transformation. It is power that is being given to me that I can shape and use. I don't think I had enough courage before now to really comprehend this immense potential, the divine power offered to me in a series of moments of potentially profound choice.
I haven’t done much in the way of practical magic. I rarely ask for things. But one of the first things I ever asked for during a ritual was when I spontaneously asked Azazel to make me truly powerful. Powerful beyond all limitation. Beyond my ability to comprehend and visualize. This moment has born fruit again and again.
Now I feel that the full fruition of that moment has begun. It will proceed endlessly through this lifetime and all of my future forms and lives, forever. My evolution, my ascent has truly begun. Finally I feel surging through me that which I felt as a keen and unacceptable absence all of my life: the ability to take on, to be filled with, to experience and wield divine power.
My inheritance. I have received what is mine. I have claimed what is mine.
Nothing is the same. My world is remade anew.
The shift. The shift.