Huge progress!

I finally got I should do magic with the intention to use it to break through the barriers I run up against in myself when I try to get started, and while I am doing magic. Now I ask the entity I am working with to help me with this goal and intention.

I have restructured my ritual and magic time. I do the same thing each time I start the ritual: Light candles and wave the incense to each deity. Offer a few drops of blood to the sigil of the entity I choose to work with for that ritual. I offer a slip of paper with my blood on it to the Death Current by burning it in my censor. I speak the opening mantras, then a few words I have for greeting the entity, and inviting it to my temple. Then I extinguish most of the candles and enter trance. I ask my mind to step back, and take a rest. The entity comes to me in my inner vision, and I experience their possession, and usually see them and am taken on a sort of journey of in which they teach and transform me. 

I usually have a period of mediation, where I am dropping into the energy of source, and my mind has become completely still. The timing of returning from meditation happens naturally. I then close the ritual, thanking the entity.

These changes to my life and my magic have changed in the past few weeks. The changes have swept through and reordered my life, in magic and every other part of my life.

I am much less likely to manage my fear by staying in a small comfort zone, making tiny movements from one task to another, wasting most of the day in frozen stuckness, and experiencing deep discomfort when I am pushing against it.

I am having a real renaissance. I am doing much more with my day. I am limiting how much time I spend on email, checking my budget, and spending time on my social media connections. I am spending less time going straight to hours of talking with my best friend on the phone. 

I am doing more reading and study about magic, my ultimate subject of learning. I am finding the time to play guitar. To watch videos regarding the basics of hand position, and scales... then practicing. I am making real progress!

I can have time for rest. An afternoon rest or nap when my daily cycle is in a low energy time.

But time spent with the freedom of "doing nothing" is not as important to me; as a habit, as something I enjoy, and as something that makes me feel free. As something that gives me a break from pushing through the limits of my comfort zone. Because time spent "doing nothing" isn't actually freeing. It results in my comfort zone getting smaller, and I am bound within it. It becomes harder and harder to push through the edges of it. Pushing it back is the way to become more and more free. And then I get to do things that are important to me.

Writing. I want to get back to writing. Blogging is great. It's creative, and it's a record which is partly my grimoire as a magician. But I have a novel languishing that I can get published, if I just make some basic changes to it. I don't have to do very much rewriting. It is polished. It is very skillful. It rocks. But I can't publish it until I change it from a genre slash novel to a complete work of fiction, which it definitely has the potential to become with just some basic changes to characters, setting, and some other specifics.

The novel calls to me. Come back. I'm not done. Come back.

"In practice, this means keeping a list of “ebb tasks” and “flow tasks”. Flow tasks require creativity and energy, while ebb tasks are busywork: replying to emails, data entry, mindless editing, chores, etc.

"Have you ever noticed that if you allow it, your energy, motivation, even your intensity about things, has a natural ebb and flow?

Some days or weeks, you’re tuned in, tapped in, and turned on. You are compelled to make things happen, tie up loose ends, or start something fresh. You are energized by new ideas, need less sleep, feel ready to tackle something you’ve let linger.

You’re in a cycle of flow, it’s a wonderful way to live and to be, and you experience some or all of these:

You feel bold, clear-minded, and vibrant.
Things come easily and effortlessly.
You are aligned and have an organic sense of momentum and accomplishment.
People and situations present themselves as if by magic.
All is right with your world; you’re experiencing flow.
Other times you’re inclined to do much less. Nothing is all that desirable except slowing down, taking it easy, pulling back. At this point you realize:

There are things you could do, but your preference is to chill.
It feels better to do the minimum required and leave it at that.
You prefer to shift into a lower gear and coast for a bit.
Exerting any extra effort feels burdensome and annoying.
All is right with your world; you’re in an ebb cycle.
It’s important to remember life is a blend of ebb and flow. You’re human; you’re not a machine.

You’ll go farther, faster when you nurture your unique rhythms whether they be daily, weekly, seasonal or otherwise.
I often find myself in mini-cycles of two or three dynamic days followed by a day or two of as much kick-back-and-relax as possible.

We often think flow is better, that we should always be productive and doing. I love the sense of accomplishment that comes from my flow cycles.

On the other hand, I’ve learned to embrace my ebb cycles. It’s taken time {much longer than I ever imagined!} and practice to relax into ebb periods. They are necessary and, thankfully, I’ve proven it’s okay to trust and enjoy my ebb cycles; they generate very positive results.

There is a healthy and purposeful balance to ebb and flow in all facets of our lives. Sometimes more, sometimes less…of anything.

After a flow cycle, we need to pause, recharge our battery, and unwind in the ebb. Then, the pendulum swings the other way and we feel ready to take action, do something, find our flow."