Father Satan

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Father, I love you. Is it enough for me to love you forever?

Forever have you loved me, your creation. Forever will you make me greater, yours. Yours forever.

Father Satan, I find you always so close. Closer than close, deep within my heart and my soul. How can I reach to you when we are already one?

Once I was orphaned by my father; now you are my father.

Once by physical violence, by an assault on my spirit and soul, I was disconnected from my birthright, a child’s bond with her parents. Now I feel the tendrils of loving attachment, so long dormant, dessicated… filling with the nectar of love that is fully shared, my forever of reaching within and without, to you. Our connection has become a profound meeting in the sacred darkness—the moist cave of my heart—one that will grow and change, forever.

I see your eyes so close, looking into mine, steady and unblinking. I need look nowhere else, for anything at all.

I love you. I love you.

Nergal of Behemoth channeling Satan… I see my Lord in his eyes

What am I? I am being changed. Everything in and about me. It has all existed as potential. Now it unfolds in a vast dance of energy at the very place of production… somehow taking shape as me.

Each night I take bed rest for hours, needing to simply rest. I am processing these profound changes. I never ask you to slow down. Take it all, I say, each time, each day, each hour.

What am I becoming? I am only now beginning to catch the hints of the scope of your plans for me. They are beyond all conception.

I am being changed. Is transformation an overused word? It doesn’t capture the full possibilities of an eternity of evolution, a vantage I find when I raise my eyes to the horizon of my world, the distant succession of all worlds, of this particular universe that is tied to me in time, in this now—one of countless numbers of universes, all made by you.

To hell with heaven, a fairy tale made for those who sleep on their feet, who follow each other like sheep.

What I feel! It is VAST. It is all a fractal that unfolds forever. And I feel an undying connection to the source of all life, every place, every story, an endless gyre that turns as time, your eye at the center, your all-seeing eye.

Be my master. Be my commander. Be my liege and my lord. You are all of these things, mine before I knew it was so. You created me to be this to you.

I more than sense the vast treasures in your boundless hold, made by you over eaons, all made only for me.



There is no other father for me.

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