Yesterday I was touched twice. My experience has been that physical touches are always Satan.
One unmistakable touch was upon my third-eye area, with a very small downward movement, similar to receiving shaktipat, which I received in 1999. The other sometime later yesterday was a sudden grasp of my right foot, around the toes, followed immediately by a quick shaking my foot back and forth slightly in a vigorous manner.
What does it mean? It’s a prompt to wake up? It’s a communication to be light on my feet? The basic stance of my existence is being altered in a small, yet vigorous way?
The things that entities do always has a profound, and often multi-layered meaning.
I was laying on my bed when I was touched yesterday. I felt some things in me winding down, the things I have been challenging in my consciousness and the functioning of my mind. I was in the moment. I wasn’t trying to alter or magnify my feelings. I wasn’t making a story about what is happening to me, similar to how I am right now. This state is being repeated, and is entirely new for me.
I felt myself finally settling into the quiet stillness of my mind, something I had tried to do for a few weeks since the first of the year. I felt myself choosing to trust in Lord Satanas’ presence in my spiritual ascent, in soul. I accepted that these energetic and transforming changes were happening without having to understand, or even be aware of them.
I asked myself. I have given up much that I thought was important. Now that I am no longer trying to push my life and experience most of the time, now that I feel so completely relaxed in a new and profound way, what else could I let go of to allow the process of spiritual maturation and change proceed?
I consciously claimed this as my new way of living. A new way of living which is in the moment.
When I was participating in E___’s live stream, I noticed I am not the “golden child” in the room. I noticed that I no longer wish to get ego strokes by E____ and the other participants. I decided I will not regularly participate, perhaps permanently.
As I thought about this, I also reflected on my various social media participation. I felt that social media is a drain. It doesn’t feel good. It is like a series of portals through which I am subject to attempts to secure my participation in greater plans of pure greed and mind control, reinforced by the little bursts of dopamine release we all experience while scanning online content.
It felt like I lost energy with these social media entrapments. Putting out much more than the return.
I felt this so clearly that I immediately left my bed, settling in front of my computer.
I deleted my Facebook pages, upon which I had 5,000 followers.
I deleted my Instagram accounts.
I deleted Twitter, which is in the process of being ruined by Elon Musk.
I greatly simplified my YouTube page. I need access to YouTube for various things.
Now I will delete TicToc, Snapchat, and Kik [done!].
I felt a new freedom, and new and immense calm. And I still felt happy and calm about this change this morning.
On the evening news, I listened to several news and financial channels regarding Facebook suddenly losing half of it’s value, basically on one day.
Aging assets eventually go into decline. Unavoidably. AOL was an aging asset. My Space was an aging asset. Facebook is an aging asset, and it is in precipitous decline. There are no new markets to expand Facebook in the world. And it is not popular with younger generations. It is gradually declining into a place for old people, and deceased people.
It doesn’t help that Facebook has decided to reinstate Trump’s Facebook and Instagram accounts.
And so. The less social media, the better.
Part of basic changes, which are reflected in fewer mental gymnastics, in which I see how each thing that happens to me is automatically on a magical journey of progress. If and when I can get control of this defensive narrative in my mind, I will no longer choose to see everything, no matter what, as progress.
It is one of my main defense mechanisms. I tell myself, yes, that has had a negative outcome, but in the long run it will be better. That’s the way I talk to myself about it. And that’s the way I maintain a feeling of calm, with less anxiety. It is self-soothing.
Letting this go has resulted in some existential dread popping into and out of my consciousness. For the first time since I got my own apartment, and let go of all my old friends in order to grow beyond who and I was with them, I feel alone. With no social network. No supports. I really am alone, with no friends except Wyatt in New York. For the first time, I feel somewhat lonely.
I am taking everything easy. Little steps are what a day is made of. I have heard so many times that magic will drop the bottom out of your life, and you need to be stable to survive that.
I am surviving. I am opening to change.
The profound stillness, relaxation, calm that I am feeling tells me that I am on the right track. Even if I don’t know what is happening, and how to make a story about it. ESPECIALLY, IF I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING, AND HOW TO MAKE A STORY ABOUT IT.
Here I am. This is it. I have been prepared, and I have chosen. I am awakening.
I am in. All in.
Leave a Reply