What is possession?

"Expectation is a prison." ~ Robert Fripp

It just would not do. It is and would be a trap, a trap that would become eternal if I set out on my eternal path from that place.

I am standing here. I stand here, still at the very place where I found my Lord, my allies, the entities that power my ascent.

The alchemy. The alchemy of BEGINNING.

I stand here, as I do the work of when and how to set out, to find, focus on, claim my true path.

STAND HERE. I feel myself nearing that moment of setting out… but I am not quite there yet. I am still here, in the moments before I set out from this place in the true direction, the destiny I have been born to.

I have been prepared. I have been taught. At last I saw it, my agenda, my limited life’s agenda. It served me so well, but has become an impediment to true evolution.

LET ALL THAT GO… the entities have urged me, over and over. The energy went out of all my magic, and I was “instructed…” to stop doing magic.

I sense that I might do ceremonial magic soon. Even practical magic, which I have done little of.

I just heard a quiet gong sound to my left, like a prayer bowl being so lightly tapped, resonating softly for a few seconds.

What does it mean? I rarely have physical manifestations, mostly the light touches of an unseen presence of Satan. Light touches upon my crown and my third eye chakras, my side, the side of my arms.

What does it mean?

This is it. Yes. You have been taught. And now you will set out upon the right path, the real path beyond your limited imagining.

And now I have been given certainty, which in my experience is often the gift that comes with physical manifestations of the astral presences. Thank you so much, my beloveds, my teachers, my fathers and someday my brothers.

When I heard the gong to my left, I looked there to see if my phone was sitting there, thinking the tone may be a notification sound from my phone that I have a never heard before. But my phone is to my right, right next to me on the desk. The sweet prayer bowl tap was to my left.

It is a manifestation. A physical manifestation of the unseen astral world.

What more is there to unpack from this physical manifestation?

I ASKED MYSELF, WHAT IS POSSESSION? And from this question, I have now found the means of setting off in the direction of my ascent.

What is possession? An unseen entity fills my being with an ecstatic, purely loving energy. It is a sort of melting feeling, of drifting backward so slightly into loving, unseen arms. I am held, and I am filled. The energy is divine, and completely benign.

(Christians and their constant self-doubt, their constant struggle to deny their true nature… stopping here as tourists of ‘evil…’ LEAVE the “exciting evil” of my blog, and go somewhere else. Thank you).

Possession is the moments between focusing on my life in the mundane world. Because the mundane is part of the mix that informs my hours, my days.

It has been hard work, losing faith then gaining it again. But I am finally letting go of trying to (profoundly) change myself with magic, which has been my intention from the first moment I embraced the Occult. My first thought was that the Occult would be the thing I have always sought, that which would change me completely, lifting me from this mundane, boring existence into something that fills me in each moment with excitement and thrill of a completely magical life. I would become something more than a shell of a being, which was the horror that I felt so keenly as an adolescent.

This work had to be done. This work has been hard because I have, in the past few months, I have had to fight despair and create courage by stepping back, looking about to find the real path for me, a magical path, but one that I did not anticipate. A path that has replaced the agenda of full-time possession and full transformation in every second, forever… at last.

I have thought of my path and destiny as one of finding my path, THE magical path. The certainty that all of this is leading to a certain something, and that when I get there, I won’t feel this world, I won’t live in this world. I can reject this mundane world, and become an expression of magic in every moment.

No. I have had this realization, clearly… today. I am ready to set out on my true journey, and now I am being shown what that is.

I had to let go of my cosmology. I had to let go of what I have clung to most in this life, for most of my life. I had to become teachable. I have become teachable. I had to quit trying to contort and augment the moments of possession, the physical and astral process of my mentoring gifted to me by the entities that support me; mostly Satan, but also Azazel and Belial. The Nine Gatekeepers that bonded with me when I was at Bootcamp at Eric’s house.

WHAT DO I SEE NOW? What new, authentic cosmology has been coming together as my vision of what is real? Now that I can really ask myself, what is possession?

Possession are the moments of living that are magical and transformative. And at this point in my development, they are one of various types of moments throughout my day. A mix that might seem arbitrary, but which simply is.

THE MIX OF MOMENTS. It is an organic thing. Mostly some of my limited experience in the mundane world, and some moments of being touched and inhabited by the divine. To be possessed is delicious, an ultimate, gourmet version of trance, the ultimate experience of magical trance. And these moments are their own reward. They do not consist of a way to move away from this world and who I have been.

I no longer reject myself, and where I am. I choose the mix, this mix. And as I fully choose where I am, I can at last set out in the correct direction.

This. This is the cosmic mix of each of my days. The mix. A delightful mix of somewhat silly mundane living with each precious, exhilarating, delicious moment of weaving in and out of the moments of possession. A mix that makes up the reality of time and space, of ascent woven and mixed into my carnal existence.

I accept this now. It was so very hard to give up my precious, but limiting cosmology… the what and the whys of my life that I have formed and cherished for most or all of my years in this incarnation. (I clung to it mightily. I was so serious about it that I was basically a spiritual nerd. LOL.) Yes, it gave me hope. Something to hold onto. Something to lift me out of the painful moments of despair that fell upon me as I fell out of the nest as a seventeen year old.

And now, so delicious! I will set out from this place. I have been prepared. I have and I will continue to be taught. It is not THE PATH, one that I thought was the way for ascent that is the same for all humans who are ready to change and evolve.

No. Each of us are where we are at. Each of us move through and are changed by the organic mix of moments both magical and mundane. I believe now that my life will proceed from this point, this point of throwing off my agenda, so I can set out at last, truly upon the path of growth, of evolution, of ascent.


Live… open… experience… grow… evolve…

It is a dance. A dance with the divine, my infinitely wise and loving teachers. Each moment is a BE. Each moment is no longer a constant attempt to transform each moment into something better, greater, stronger.

I am. I dance. I evolve.

It is perfect. My destiny. The true desire of my heart.

Perfect. Perfect.

Update ~ March 14

Yesterday I had a question. What is possession? What is the purpose of it? I feel intense bliss, and my mind goes mostly quiet as I am filled with the divine energy of the entity possessing me, in this case several moments in a row of strong of possession. Because I can “taste” this energy, I can tell it was Satan.

Why do the entities come to me as possession? Without verbal or written knowledge? Because they are bypassing my mind, my logic process, the patterns of my mind I have developed to control and augment whatever happens to me, in any moment, in movements with them.


This is why I am only occasionally called to my altar for anything which approximates ceremonial magic, when even then simply translates to doing energy (non-verbaI) possession, trance, and meditation, with my mind tucked away for a rest. This is part of why reading books about magic doesn’t connect for me and just irritates me. I’m not being transformed in that way.

My gnosis is non-verbal. My gnosis is energetic.

Banner and Eve art: Artists unknown

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