Dream of a monstrous depth

I dreamed that I was sitting on a couch opposite B______-X. It felt so good to be chatting with him, to be treated as an equal. I felt myself lifted up, my self-worth soaring. My body was singing with the pleasure of doing something that I love. Being close to someone I greatly admire. At... Continue Reading →

Step from myself into myself

—Art by John Reinhard Weguelin— RITUALS I have done rituals to invoke/evoke entities, initially to learn the basic skills for magic. I have continued rituals for the experience of connection and possession. But after the first few weeks in magical instruction, I stopped doing rituals for a specific purpose. Then I stopped doing rituals at... Continue Reading →

Love under will

Looking back over my recent blog posts... so many threads coming together. Feeling ambivalent, fragmented in my approach to magic. Finding my worth, in this world and beyond, as someone who has chosen to evolve. Bungling the task of wholeness. Bartering my potential for one certain outcome. The willingness, the readiness to trade away what... Continue Reading →

A certain wholeness

—Art by Fulco Culto ~ A God and a Goddess Wedding— "Expectation is a prison." ~Robert Fripp It's simple really. The choice. Trade away my purpose for a tantalizing transformation into something I am not, or find my purpose, the specific transformation I am born to. I have experienced my life and who I am... Continue Reading →

I cannot be forsaken

At last I see it. I was discouraged. I felt I had failed. My development through magick was meager at best. I updated my altar with Santa Muerte at the center. I am connected to the Death Current. And at last I see it. I have been trying to hang on to the feelings of... Continue Reading →

I have been enslaved

“LUCIFER: They say what they must sing and say on painOf being that which I am and thou art ― Of spirits and of men. CAIN: And what is that? LUCIFER: Souls who dare use their immortality,Souls who dare look the omnipotent tyrant inHis everlasting face and tell him thatHis evil is not good!” ― Lord... Continue Reading →

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