Seeking the exiled forces of chaos and destruction below
"Attaching myself to things, attaching things to myself, is a mundane world trap. It is painful. And I don't do pain anymore, unless I am burning it as the fuel for my ascent." I woke up this morning thinking: "I am always trying to figure out what to do with energy." I enjoyed some profound... Continue Reading →
Whoever came up with Jesus was just goofing around, or something. Okay, they were serious, you say. (I know this sounds far-fetched. But there is actually some evidence to question whether the Jesus of the New Testament was a real person, whether many of the events of the New Testament actually happened. I'm talking scholarly... Continue Reading →
"Offerings to the inner fire, fuel for the alchemical processes; divinely pressured I begin to shine as the diamond jewel of freedom, the purified gold of ascent." It happened for the first time... that I ever remember. I asked myself what to focus on this evening, and thought of a couple of options... And I... Continue Reading →
I felt called to the altar in early evening. I sacrificed a few drops of blood upon the sigils of Set, Naamah, Lilith, and Belial. I raised kundalini through my spine to my crown. I spoke to Set, and he came to my temple, my bedroom by my altar. I could see him very clearly... Continue Reading →
Art by Mateusz Twardoch - NOTE: I am bipolar and I was manic as hell on this day. When I am manic, it feels like everything I've ever wanted is dropping into place. Not that it isn't. But things look different when mundane reality eventually seeps back in a few days (or weeks) later. My... Continue Reading →
Art by Cambionart - Know thyself. This is absolutely required in order to become a magical adept. Why do I feel so shut down? Why am I in so much pain? Know thyself. I found out that the occult is real in May. I immediately realized that as someone who has been very sensitive to... Continue Reading →
September 26, 2021 Let's get real. I am rejecting my life before now. I cut the threads when I was working with Arachne. I will trade everything about my world for magic. Is this wise? I do know that there is nothing more important to me than the things I believe I will achieve with... Continue Reading →
What if I brought an agenda to chaos? Trying to turn magic into this certain thing... it doesn't work. I looked, and occult was real. I looked, and saw magic as my new path. Finally, my life would begin. Heartache. The entities come when they want. They come during the day, then ignore me during... Continue Reading →
I felt a few energetic tickles while I was watching TV. I shut off the TV, and took a shower, then settled in front of my altar. I have discovered that Seth (Set, Seth) likes it when I stroke his statue. I stroke down his long nose, and on his funny ears. His arms, his... Continue Reading →
JOURNAL — Sep 21 2021 — I have been completely miserable starting the day after E.A. Koetting's live chat on the 15th. During the live chat, I experienced a huge flow of blissful energy coming through E.A. and his channel into me. He spoke to me near the end. The next day, I could not... Continue Reading →
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