A record of my ascent as a theistic Satanist and black magician by Astarte Astaroth
I am human. I am not one of the divine entities that I am intimate with, who power my ascent. What is the purpose of my life? I thought I knew. I based every year of my adult life on a plan, not a grand plan, a mighty little plan that traded away everything for... Continue Reading →
I have been looking back at my life for a couple of days now. I have looked at the long arc of suffering that finally ended when I landed in this, my own sweet apartment six years ago, having finally achieved financial independence from my (alcoholic) husband. I looked at all the suffering, the whole... Continue Reading →
—Image from Duran Duran 'Come Undone" official video— I throw my arms wide and offer myself to the divine ones who are changing me. Take this neediness, this fear, this constant perfectionism with accompanying searing pain of regret. If this is dissolved, I will become something new, something free, something I cannot imagine. Once I... Continue Reading →
I am intoxicated. I am surrounded by spirit, by soul. Consciousness is the elixir... my mind the container, the emanator, the emanated. Each moment of attachment is a familiar cliff I throw myself off at last, gently... gently... sailing away into all that is unknown, and free. I have pivoted away from the life I... Continue Reading →
It is happening. It has taken most of the month of January. To stop. To stop being driven. I spent a year building and maturing my business. I've done quite well. And I have been obsessed, an obsession that lasted every day for most of the day. Since November 2021. I was instructed. To stop.... Continue Reading →
I am having so many intensely transformative experiences that I have felt unable to blog about them. Everything is old news the next day. Yesterday... A few days ago. A few days ago, I encountered this quote online: "The astral universe… is hundreds of times larger than the material universe…[with] many astral planets, teeming with... Continue Reading →
—Banner image from video by Behemoth-X, thank you Mr. Nunn— I was watching a video with a ritual and mantra to Satan. I started to type an email to Mr. Nunn, asking if he would share with me the words of the mantra. I only made it a little way into the email. Suddenly I... Continue Reading →
August 28, 2022 I am so far behind on my grimoire. I will record a few important things as I remember them, but first, regarding my ritual work tonight. I planned to work with Sathanas, but was impressed to work with Belial. He came to me with a heavy possession of bliss, my body fluid... Continue Reading →
Hi E____, I'll bet you know immediately what I am talking about if I say that as someone raised Mormon, I am plagued by doubt. Self-questioning and examination. Re-examination. Endless...! Am I fooling myself? Has the devil's deception begun to take root in my day to day life? In the very things I care most... Continue Reading →
Last night. I felt the place of trance opening as I lit the candles, waved the incense, offered drops of my blood to the sigils of Azazel and Belial. I smeared my blood on a slip of paper and burned it in my brazier, offering my life's essence to Death. I said some magical phrases.... Continue Reading →
Twilight in the Underworld 
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