A certain wholeness

—Art by Fulco Culto ~ A God and a Goddess Wedding— "Expectation is a prison." ~Robert Fripp It's simple really. The choice. Trade away my purpose for a tantalizing transformation into something I am not, or find my purpose, the specific transformation I am born to. I have experienced my life and who I am... Continue Reading →

Searching versus wholeness

I SEE IT. How to describe the nerd in myself? The one that is in charge of "doing?" "How to get there? This looks cool... so, now... how to make this work? Can I use this to finally get to ________?" "My life got fucked up. This might be how to fix it! But.... how... Continue Reading →

Finding the Death Current within

Art by William Morris "Cache" . I am not on the road to somewhere else, to anywhere at all. I am there. I am here. What is happening is about now. Not about where I'm wanting, hoping, trying to get to. When an entity fills me with divine, subtly dissolving energy, that is about this... Continue Reading →

I feel what I cannot see

I feel your love. Now and again as I go about my day. Your love and possession pulls me out of the unconscious flow of life. You wake me up. You are waking me up. You fill me with love. I know that you are with me. I know that there are many that are... Continue Reading →

I cannot be forsaken

At last I see it. I was discouraged. I felt I had failed. My development through magick was meager at best. I updated my altar with Santa Muerte at the center. I am connected to the Death Current. And at last I see it. I have been trying to hang on to the feelings of... Continue Reading →

Mother Death

DEATH I SUMMON Death I have become. Death has become me. I cause the black earth to open its gates, for I have buried a creature of flesh within thee. The blackened putrid soul of the dead has covered and coalesced within this offering of mortal flesh, my heart. Let a single drop of death's... Continue Reading →

I KNOW WHO I AM

From my conversation today with a fellow Occultist on Discord I have had some time to digest your excellent reply about your path. Yet another person I meet who was called to the path quite young. I always feel jealousy. For whatever reason, I hungered so deeply for the magic I found in books like... Continue Reading →

Grimoire: Azazel

Art by Cambion Art on Deviant Art Today I worked with Azazel for the first time. I meant to work with him last night, but I had a very intense session with Set, and decided to wait until tonight. I carved Azazel's name in the red and black candles I then lit for him. I... Continue Reading →

I rule the ride

"I remember the day I stood in the bewildering chaos and destruction portal known as Walmart, looking around at a massive jumble of things that were all destined for the sewer, the graveyard, or the landfill." I woke up this morning thinking: "I am always trying to figure out what to do with energy." I... Continue Reading →

Christianity is a sham

If you are a Christian reading my blog, your Christian mind control is about to twist my words—those of how I came to the Occult. You will encounter juicy words and concepts such as "possession," "forbidden," "dangerous," "damnation," "evil." You will so easily understand exactly what I encountered in myself when I described an "utter... Continue Reading →

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