I am human. I am not one of the divine entities that I am intimate with, who power my ascent. What is the purpose of my life? I thought I knew. I based every year of my adult life on a plan, not a grand plan, a mighty little plan that traded away everything for... Continue Reading →
The end of suffering
I have been looking back at my life for a couple of days now. I have looked at the long arc of suffering that finally ended when I landed in this, my own sweet apartment six years ago, having finally achieved financial independence from my (alcoholic) husband. I looked at all the suffering, the whole... Continue Reading →
Coming undone
—Image from Duran Duran 'Come Undone" official video— I throw my arms wide and offer myself to the divine ones who are changing me. Take this neediness, this fear, this constant perfectionism with accompanying searing pain of regret. If this is dissolved, I will become something new, something free, something I cannot imagine. Once I... Continue Reading →
Happening
It is happening. It has taken most of the month of January. To stop. To stop being driven. I spent a year building and maturing my business. I've done quite well. And I have been obsessed, an obsession that lasted every day for most of the day. Since November 2021. I was instructed. To stop.... Continue Reading →
Finding Lord Satan at the center of my consciousness
I am having so many intensely transformative experiences that I have felt unable to blog about them. Everything is old news the next day. Yesterday... A few days ago. A few days ago, I encountered this quote online: "The astral universe… is hundreds of times larger than the material universe…[with] many astral planets, teeming with... Continue Reading →
I glorify Thy name, Thou Shining One
I glorify Thy name, Thou Shining One Lord of Righteousness: Spirit Sublime Lucifer, Angel of the Black Sun. I receive Thee. I embrace Thee. Thine Essence-Dark hast bathed my Soul: Baptism of the Black-Light. Thy servant am I. Thou, who art the Infernal God of Truth: Adoration I give unto Thee. Awaken those who have... Continue Reading →
Working with the Shree Kundalini magical current
Hi E___... I had a huge insight. As you know, I experienced a full awakening of my kundalini by a Hindu master at the beginning of 2000, and lived in an ashram for three years. From that time until discovering the Occult a year ago, I experienced intense kundalini and meditation work that has burned... Continue Reading →
Listening
—Cover art from The Instant by Amy Liptrot— I am not trying to get anywhere. I have arrived. I surf the moments, the river of experience, of transformation and ascent. Only someone who could understand me... if I said I had been waiting all of my life for my life to begin... can understand what... Continue Reading →
Step from myself into myself
—Art by John Reinhard Weguelin— RITUALS I have done rituals to invoke/evoke entities, initially to learn the basic skills for magic. I have continued rituals for the experience of connection and possession. But after the first few weeks in magical instruction, I stopped doing rituals for a specific purpose. Then I stopped doing rituals at... Continue Reading →
I feel what I cannot see
I feel your love. Now and again as I go about my day. Your love and possession pulls me out of the unconscious flow of life. You wake me up. You are waking me up. You fill me with love. I know that you are with me. I know that there are many that are... Continue Reading →
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