A record of my ascent as a theistic Satanist and black magician by Astarte Astaroth
I am human. I am not one of the divine entities that I am intimate with, who power my ascent. What is the purpose of my life? I thought I knew. I based every year of my adult life on a plan, not a grand plan, a mighty little plan that traded away everything for... Continue Reading →
There is a fire under me. The fire has been denied. This fire will only rise when I align myself with it. It has been so long since I knelt to touch the incendiary within, the gift of Prometheus that rises within me. Under the cold blanket of forgetfulness, of denial of self, the coals... Continue Reading →
I have been looking back at my life for a couple of days now. I have looked at the long arc of suffering that finally ended when I landed in this, my own sweet apartment six years ago, having finally achieved financial independence from my (alcoholic) husband. I looked at all the suffering, the whole... Continue Reading →
—Image from Duran Duran 'Come Undone" official video— I throw my arms wide and offer myself to the divine ones who are changing me. Take this neediness, this fear, this constant perfectionism with accompanying searing pain of regret. If this is dissolved, I will become something new, something free, something I cannot imagine. Once I... Continue Reading →
Eric reads my question: Astarte Astaroth says: "I feel the Nine Demonic Gatekeepers each grasping my spine in a row. I felt this yesterday. You know that I don't really do ceremonial magic at this point. Do you have advice on how I might informally work with their presence?" Great question, Astarte. If you feel... Continue Reading →
I am intoxicated. I am surrounded by spirit, by soul. Consciousness is the elixir... my mind the container, the emanator, the emanated. Each moment of attachment is a familiar cliff I throw myself off at last, gently... gently... sailing away into all that is unknown, and free. I have pivoted away from the life I... Continue Reading →
"Expectation is a prison." ~ Robert Fripp It just would not do. It is and would be a trap, a trap that would become eternal if I set out on my eternal path from that place. I am standing here. I stand here, still at the very place where I found my Lord, my allies,... Continue Reading →
Yesterday I was touched twice. My experience has been that physical touches are always Satan. One unmistakable touch was upon my third-eye area, with a very small downward movement, similar to receiving shaktipat, which I received in 1999. The other sometime later yesterday was a sudden grasp of my right foot, around the toes, followed... Continue Reading →
It is happening. It has taken most of the month of January. To stop. To stop being driven. I spent a year building and maturing my business. I've done quite well. And I have been obsessed, an obsession that lasted every day for most of the day. Since November 2021. I was instructed. To stop.... Continue Reading →
I've always been a wild child. I was orphaned by my parents while still living with them (yes, this is possible). Summer days meant riding my bike through the wild fields that surrounded our small subdivision, leading the charge with the other children in my neighborhood. There were tadpoles and frogs, leeches and dragonflies in... Continue Reading →
Twilight in the Underworld 
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